He chose to see his child’s behaviour as a question

Looking at him from this perspective, I saw that when he walked into the street, he really was asking a question.

‘What are the rules? How do I generalize? When is it all right to walk in the street and when isn’t it?’

[First] I told him to stay out of the street. The next day, I carried him when we crossed the street. Occasionally, when there was no traffic, I held his hand while he crossed. On isolated roads, I would even let him go across alone while I walked alongside.

As I became clear, and as he understood, he complied. He enjoyed complying. He derived a great deal of satisfaction out of mastering the road-crossing situation. We both were seeking the same goal.

from “Profound Simplicity” by Will Schutz, 1979

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